When someone passes away, it’s a time of grief and reflection for their family and friends. Attending a wake, viewing, or funeral service is a way to show support and pay respect to the deceased and their loved ones. One important aspect of attending these events is choosing what to wear. The clothes you wear can reflect your respect, sympathy, and understanding of the occasion. This article will guide you through what to wear to a wake, viewing, or funeral service, so you can dress appropriately and respectfully.
Understanding the Ceremonies
Before discussing what to wear, it’s helpful to understand the differences between a wake, a viewing, and a funeral service. Each has its own traditions, and understanding them helps you prepare better.
Wake A wake is often held before the funeral. It’s a gathering where family and friends come together to remember the person who has passed away. It may take place at a family home, funeral home, or religious venue. Sometimes the body is present in an open casket, and there may be prayers, stories, or quiet reflection.
Viewing/Visitation A viewing, also called a visitation, is similar to a wake but is usually less formal. It provides an opportunity to view the body, express condolences to the family, and offer support. It’s a quieter event, often scheduled for several hours, which allows people to come and go.
Funeral Service The funeral service is a formal ceremony to honor the life of the deceased. It may include religious rituals, eulogies, music, and readings. The body may or may not be present. The funeral is usually more structured and solemn than a wake or viewing.
Understanding the nature of each event helps guide your clothing choices, as the tone and expectations may vary slightly.
General Attire Guidelines
When attending any of these events, the most important thing to keep in mind is respect. Your attire should not draw attention to you but rather show support and mourning.
Color Choices Traditionally, black is the most common color worn to funerals and similar events. It symbolizes mourning and respect. Other dark colors like navy blue, gray, and dark brown are also acceptable. Avoid bright colors or loud patterns, unless the family has requested something different.
Some cultures use white as the color of mourning. For example, in some Asian cultures, white is worn to funerals instead of black. Always consider the cultural background of the family and follow their lead if you’re unsure.
Style and Fit Choose clothes that are modest and conservative. This is not the time for tight-fitting clothes, short skirts, or revealing tops. Opt for simple, clean lines and classic styles. Avoid flashy or trendy outfits that might be distracting.
Footwear Footwear should be formal and comfortable. Funerals often involve standing, walking, or even walking on grass or uneven surfaces if the service is at a cemetery. Choose dress shoes or flats that are easy to walk in. Avoid sneakers, sandals, or flip-flops, as they are too casual.
Specific Attire Recommendations
For Men Men should aim for a polished and understated look. A dark suit is the best option. It should be clean, well-fitted, and paired with a dress shirt and a subdued tie. If you don’t own a suit, a dress shirt and slacks in dark colors are appropriate. Avoid jeans, t-shirts, or any athletic wear. Keep accessories minimal—avoid flashy watches or jewelry.
For Women Women should choose outfits that are modest and respectful. A knee-length or longer dress in a dark or muted color is a safe choice. You can also wear a blouse with a skirt or dress pants. Avoid low-cut tops, short skirts, or tight-fitting clothes. A simple scarf or cardigan can be a nice addition. Keep makeup and jewelry minimal.
Seasonal Considerations
Summer Dressing appropriately in warm weather can be tricky, but it’s still important to be respectful. Choose lightweight, breathable fabrics like cotton or linen in dark colors. You can wear short-sleeved tops, but avoid sleeveless or strapless ones. Women can wear a midi or maxi dress with short sleeves. Men can opt for a short-sleeved dress shirt with slacks if it’s too hot for a suit jacket. Make sure shoes are still formal.
Winter In colder weather, layering is key. Wear a dark-colored coat, scarf, and gloves. Choose warm but formal clothes, such as wool pants, sweaters, and long-sleeved blouses. Men should wear a suit or, at the very least, a dark coat over a dress shirt. Footwear should be sturdy and weather-appropriate but still formal—avoid snow boots unless necessary.
Cultural and Religious Sensitivities
Different cultures and religions have unique traditions regarding funeral attire. It’s respectful to learn about these traditions if you’re attending a service from a different background. For example:
- In Hindu funerals, white clothing is traditionally worn.
- At Jewish funerals, men may be expected to wear a yarmulke.
- Some African or Caribbean funerals may be celebratory, with specific colors or attire requested by the family.
If you’re unsure, it’s perfectly okay to ask the family or the funeral home about what’s appropriate. They will appreciate your effort to be respectful.
What to Avoid
Avoid clothing that could be seen as disrespectful or inappropriate for the occasion. This includes:
- Bright colors like red, yellow, or neon shades.
- Bold patterns or prints.
- Casual clothing such as jeans, shorts, or t-shirts.
- Athletic wear or gym shoes.
- Revealing or tight-fitting clothing.
- Excessive accessories or flashy jewelry.
The goal is to show empathy and support, not to stand out. Choosing the right outfit ensures that your focus remains on honoring the deceased and supporting their family.
Conclusion
Dressing appropriately for a wake, viewing, or funeral service shows your respect and understanding of the occasion. It’s a simple yet meaningful way to support those who are grieving. While traditions may vary depending on culture and religion, the basic principles remain the same: wear modest, respectful clothing in dark or muted colors. By doing so, you honor the memory of the deceased and offer comfort to those who mourn them. If in doubt, always choose simplicity and respect—and remember, your presence and support mean more than your outfit ever could.
